It's the little things.
How grief weaves itself into every facet of life.
There are times like tonight when I am overwhelmed with sadness. Sometimes it is my own, sometimes it comes from someone else in my family or my community, (or even an entire nation in distress), and I have to remind myself to ask: “Is this sadness mine?”
Tonight is one of those times. “Is this sadness mine?” “Why do I feel the need to cry?”
Grief is a funny thing. It’s the little things that surprise you, that activate your sorrow, cause your tears to come forth. Tonight, just moments ago, something happened but I still don’t know what, and the tears streamed down my face.
I think tonight my tears are of my own grief, my own love for my late husband — whose absence is felt every single day and whom I miss more with each day that passes — and the lost sense of security and contentment I felt in his arms. The world’s troubles, our troubles simply melted away as he held me with my head nestled into that nook on his chest and shoulder. Tonight, however, my personal grief is compounded by some other grief as well…but what or whose?
Was it the news? Was it the GOP’s and Republicans and Conservatives need to want to “eradicate transpeople”? To deny them their right to exist? No, they say, they don’t want to exterminate them, they simply want them to not exist. What the hell does that mean? What threat are transpeople to the world? What threat are they to these people who abhor them so much that they want them “eradicated”? Have they ever even met a transgender person? Spoken to a child who wants to transition? No, not spoken, LISTENED to a child or teenager in turmoil about their own identity? Well, they should meet with them, and while they listen, they need to be silent. They need to not be allowed to speak to them or espouse their hatred. They need to shut up and listen with open hearts.
Ahhh, maybe that’s what ails the GOP, Republicans, Conservatives, extremists: they don’t (and may never have had), open hearts. It makes me want to ask these people:👇
“Who hurt you? Who hurt you so badly that you feel threatened by people you don’t even know, who wish you no harm?
Who hurt you so badly that you feel the need to lash out to innocent children and deny them their feelings? Who denied you your feelings when you were a child? What happened to you that you now project your hurt and self-hatred towards innocent children, women, and men?
Who in your world told you that you weren’t good enough, that you had no right to exist, to be who you were? Who in your world told you your feelings weren’t valid? Who diminished you? Who taught you to hate yourself? Who told you that you don’t matter?
And, why do you not seek to heal yourself? I am so very sorry that you were traumatized but that doesn’t give you the right to traumatize others. You are an adult. You need to heal your wounds so that your children are not traumatized, so that you can feel at peace with who you are, who you want to be. Then, you need to learn to seek forgiveness from those you’re now hurting. Please, seek help. Help abounds everywhere. It is there for you, if you choose to find it.
End the cycle of shame. End the cycle of hatred. Embrace yourself as you wish they had when you were a child, and wish they would, now that you’re an adult. Embrace your Self…who you wish to be…who you are. Do that for yourself so that you may embrace all.”
We are here on Earth to live: to love, learn, grow, improve ourselves, and help each other. That’s our purpose. To experience life and all that that entails: the good and the bad. But, individually, why can’t some learn their damn lessons and heal themselves in this lifetime, so as not to bring pain to others?
Even with my belief system of reincarnation, of our spirits choosing our paths in each lifetime to help one another learn and grow, and sometimes that means coming back as a hateful representative of the human race, I find it incredibly difficult to witness this hate, to watch people suffer. I can’t seem to reconcile this paradox inside me. I want these scared, hate-filled people to heal themselves in this lifetime, as soon as possible, for the benefit of all of us.
As I write this, my tears subside, my sadness evaporates. Ahhh, so that’s what it was…my empathic nature speaking to me and needing to be heard, needing to be given a voice. And so I have…given it a voice…a written voice. To be read and shared in the hopes of reaching someone who may be on the verge of questioning themselves and their own fears, their own hatred, their own evolution as a human being. To, perhaps, awaken their compassion and empathy for others, and themselves.
And, to be read by other empaths, to let them know, to let you know, you are not alone. It’s a good thing to be upset, distressed, and overwhelmingly sad about the times we’re living in because it means we have compassion, we have empathy towards someone else’s struggles. It means we want to help them, help our families, our communities, our nation, the world, in becoming a better place to live our lives as human beings. It means we strive for the ideal of a peaceful family, community, nation, and world because we know in our hearts, it has to be done. It needs to be done. Our anger, our sadness, our tears means we CARE, and that’s a good thing.
Sure, we’ll make mistakes along the way, and it will take generations, but we must never give up on the ideal of the American dream: a welcoming nation to all who seek peace, prosperity, love, acceptance, safety, and hope for a better life, a better future.
As I said every night on the bird site for almost 15 years, and I’m getting in the habit of saying it here on Post, “Stay warm, sleep well, be kind, be safe, & ❤️ more.”
Now, ask yourself, “How can I love more today, or tonight?”
Start there, start with yourself. ❤️🕯☮️
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