Hello, everyone!
For the first time in seven years, Iโve felt the desire to celebrate Christmas while at the same time feeling extra impatient, irritable, sad, and hopeless. Then, within moments, Iโm back to that feeling of excitement this season holds, and the hopefulness it brings. Itโs been a roller coaster of emotions every day this month!
And, for the first time in seven years, I can actually say these words, (without mentally banishing them & the feelings of joy they are supposed to bring):
โMerry Christmas, everyone!โ
My son and I watched one of our favorite movies with one of our favorite songs, How the Grinch Stole Christmas. (My son has had the words to the book/movie/songs memorized for a few decades now.) He surprised me with the DVD of the movie because our VHS tape of it has worn out. This made up for not having a tree & then some. ๐ฅฒ Hereโs our favorite song, Welcome Christmas Day:
For a few moments, hold someone's hand (even if it's your own) while you listen to this & remember lifeโs goodness and sweetness. Those memories, those moments are there for you to find.
Please know your loved ones on the Other Side are with you today. Pay attention to this day to see if you can spot any signs or messages they send you. It's not your imagination. They are with you, today & always.
I know my husband was with us last night, watching, listening & singing along, too. And as I write this final edit at 6:40am, I can feel him standing next to me with his hand on my shoulder and back.
And, even though tears well up in my eyes, they are no longer tears of sorrow streaming down my cheeks; they are tears of love mixed still with grief, but they are accompanied now with a smile upon my face. The depth of my love has surpassed the weight of my sorrow, finally.
I will always miss my husband. I will always love him, and I now carry my grief with more sweetness than pain, knowing he is forever a part of my life, as your loved ones are a part of yours. That will never change.
Merry Christmas to all of you!
May you find signs of hope, love, light, & peace today. ๐ ๐ ๐ฏ โฎ๏ธ
~Lisa