Where to start? Where have I been?
This is a piece I wrote in March 2023 (never published). I've edited/updated it to reflect where I am now in April 2024.
Another day dawns as I realize a year has gone by since I’ve written the draft of this post, and it’s not by accident that it is on the 14th of the month that I’m about to publish it. (The 14th is the death date of my beloved husband.) And, yes, I realize it’s now May 1st, 2024. (We’ll talk about how my perfectionism has come back full force due to my loss in another post.)
I’m still figuring out what I want to do with my writing, my journey with grief…my LIFE. I abandoned Substack, (and searched for other platforms, for a variety of reasons which I’ll discuss as the weeks go by,) for a year. Coming back, I’ve discovered I have 18 followers! Welcome and…
…my apologies for the lack of content, and thank you for wanting to hear what I have to say about grief, mediumship, job/life coaching, love, marriage, musings, and who knows what else? Thank you for showing me you care about what I have said up until a year ago and what I may say in the present and future. With all that said, I can tell you, I’m back!
One of the many questions I’ve had in the course of this past year has been, Should I separate my journey with grief, with widowhood, from politics, or my life coaching, or my mediumship, and, if so, how exactly should I do that within this publication, (especially since the first several posts have been angry ones regarding Florida politics)? I’ve come to realize that sort of separation is really an impossibility for me.
My life has been an emotional roller coaster since my husband has passed away, and I’ve learned that grief weaves its tendrils into every single facet of my life, and my life (our lives) is/are affected by politics, by our local, state, and national policies, for good and for bad!
So, no, I’m not going to hold back when I’m angry about people attacking women’s rights, stealing Social Security funds (which are NOT entitlements, by the way, but money we’ve each paid into during the years we’ve worked), nor any other subject I care deeply about.
You will see me angry and frustrated as hell and also, in tears of sorrow and joy as I try to make sense of a world gone mad which is compounded by my traumatic loss. Because let’s face it, our world has gone mad. For more than seven years, we’ve seen authoritarians and dictators weasel, gaslight, con, and force their way into positions of power — not to serve their countrymen and countrywomen and the children of their nation — but to only serve themselves.
I am a multi-faceted individual (aren’t we all?), and my varied passions, challenges, solutions, interests, life experiences, and wisdom, add up to who I AM now. I simply cannot compartmentalize myself in that way when writing…when sharing my life with you. So, hang onto your hat! Read what you want to read and disregard the rest. ☮️
Please understand that I will not judge anyone who feels differently than I do. We all have our own belief systems which serve as a way for us to cope with our losses, our everyday challenges. I understand that, and I also have compassion for those who have been gaslit. My life’s work in job coaching, life coaching has been and is to help people see their own strengths in order to lead more positive and satisfying lives. With mediumship, it is to help people with their sorrow.
I only ask you/them to respect my feelings and those of others/my audience, as they expect others to respect their feelings and beliefs. Okay? Okay.
I hope Another Day Dawns helps other widows feel less alone, and I hope it helps others realize the significance of our loss and, perhaps, encourages people to reach out to support widows of all ages. 🙏
Sending out love, light & peace to all of you. 💜🕯☮️
~Lisa
Special Notes: To lessen the likelihood of trolls or bots coming into my feed, I will be limiting comments to my posts to Paid subscribers only. This is to protect myself (forthcoming post about that to be published soon), and to protect you, my audience from those who wish only to cause trouble and/or cause harm to others. We used to call them “flamers”. Those who simply want to inflame the conversation in order to shut down the author and/or community. I will not tolerate that sort of behavior.
And, for those of us in grief, we don’t need nor want your hurtful comments when you, yourself, have not suffered the loss of a spouse (or anyone else). So, keep the “You should move on.” comments to yourself, please. (More on that horrid phrase in a later post.)
And, since I am a widow, I realize many people are looking to prey on me, trying to scam, guilt or threaten me into a scam of sorts. I will not tolerate that behavior as well. Trust me. There are those who tried to do that within two months of my husband’s death (that’s for another post), who failed. I do my due diligence. I know my rights. I am *very* tech savvy. I am *very* knowledgeable about trolls, scams, propaganda, and other harmful tactics.
IMPORTANT RESOURCE FOR EVERYONE:
For suggestions on what to say and what NOT to say to a grieving person, I direct you to grief expert, David Kessler’s site, grief.com and to this specific page: 10 Best and Worst Things To Say To Someone in Grief. Please visit and read through this before commenting.
I welcome shared experiences (and how you are coping with your loss), and utterances of condolence and reassurance, but please refrain from criticism or what I, (or anyone else), “should” be doing or not doing. There is no one way or one “right” way to grieve.
We are all on our own path, our own timeline, our own journey with our unique backgrounds, personalities, belief systems, financial circumstances, support systems (or lack thereof), and many other factors others may not be aware of, so please, think before you comment. Be kind, and thank you for joining me on this journey of rebuilding my life after loss.